Halloween......

‘What would you like to drink, Goul? Come on, I’m buying!’ said Comtessa Von Sanguaine, friendly local vampire and goul’s life and death-long BFF (in the most accurate sense of the term.). ‘Nothing’ pouted Goul ‘Everything is awful.’ The Comtessa smiled sympathetically, though a little toothily, ‘There must be something that takes your fancy, my dear… How about Espresso?’ She suggested ‘Tastes like bitter experience’ Goul intoned grumpily. ‘Ok…Well you can sweeten it with some nice hot milk... Flat White?’ she suggested patiently

‘Insufferable superiority complex’

‘Cappuccino?’

‘Cocoa dusted mediocrity of middle age’

‘Latte?’

‘Diluted regret’

‘Decaf?’

‘False hope’

‘Tumeric latte?’

‘Are you going to go through the entire menu?’

‘Yes, you’re making this far too fun not to. Tumeric Latte?’

‘Resigned to disappointment’

‘Matcha Latte?

‘Good intentions that have arrived on the doorstep of hell’

‘Jesus. Ok, Chai Latte?’

‘Colonialism and suffering’

‘Indeed… How about chocolate then? Ooooh, White Hot Chocolate?’

‘Kind lies and lost innocence’

‘Milk Hot Chocolate?’

‘The warm embrace of betrayal’

‘Dark Hot Chocolate?’

‘Spurned lovers’

‘I might have one of those. Tea? Look Earl Grey!’

‘Hmmm… Earl Grey… dark and intense with a bit of a sharp edge….Yes I think that matches my gloom nicely.’

‘Wonderful! Sandra, we’ll have one cup of Spurned Lovers and one pot of Gloom please - milk or lemon with that Goul?’

‘Bitter lemon today I think. Gloomy and bitter.’

‘That’s the spirit, dear. And a slice of Death by Chocolate if you would be so kind. Now, what seems to be the matter my darling depressed one?’ Goul sighed heavily ‘It’s Halloween. It’s supposed to be our time. But it’s not the same as it was is it? Where’s the terror? Where’s the superstition? I saw a child dressed as a Unicorn last year! A bloody Unicorn!’ ‘A bloody Unicorn sounds quite appropriate’ ‘Haha, very witty. It’s just… where is the darkness? We live in the shadows but there’s barely any left anymore this time of year. It’s all fairy lights and shiny Disney characters.’ ‘Hmmmm. I see your problem. It must be hard for you to adjust.’ ‘It’s allright for you, you suit all this masquerading and glamouring. But the rest of us…Most houses don’t even have basements anymore. Or attics.’ ‘What we need’ said the Comtessa thoughtfully ‘Is our very own haunted house, my dear. And lucky for you, I’m in a purchasing mood, and I can think of just the place….

‘Well?’ Isn’t it beautiful?’ ‘It’s the most dark depressing gothic foreboding place I've ever seen’ ‘Awww, thank you my love.  And…. it already has three ghosts and a werewolf who visits each month, with a gruesome and terrible history of murder and betrayal.’ ‘Is there a basement?’ ‘And an attic, really big shadowy one with lots of places to hide. We’ll open it on Halloween and you’ll be feeding off delicious fear for weeks. All this true crime horror stuff is very popular with the living it seems. They want to be scared, dear. And with this place, they’ll come to us.’ ‘Wow.’ ‘And then’ ‘when we have ample supplies of their funny paper money, we can go visit all the best places once more, like we used to…’ ‘You mean…..Paris?’ ‘Of course… I hear the catacombs are terrible in the Winter’ ‘What would I do without you?’ ‘You’ll never find out my darling grey one, we always find a way. After all, you’re the one who really scares them. We’re a team.’